Inner Fight
by Lily G
Summary: When Spike is hurt during an intervention, Someone unexpected has a reaction… well, unexpected. Warning: SLASH, Sam/Spike. Rating R, maybe M, but not really explicit contents for the chapter. Last chapter!
1. Inner Turmoil

Title: Internal Fight (1/3)

Chapter: Inner turmoil

Word Count: 17x200 words (that means 3400 yeah!)

Pairing: Sam/Spike

Rating: R

Warnings: SLASH

Spoilers: a hint of 2x07, but just a hint.

Summary: When Spike is hurt during an intervention, Someone unexpected has a reaction… well, unexpected.

Written for: flashpoint_sru on LJ

Disclaimer: I don't own Flashpoint. Just my fantasies…

Beta: The lovely paranoid_woman

* * *

*

Inner Turmoil 

*

Sam pushed past Spike when he stepped into the locker room.

"Scarlatti, you're in the middle of the way. Move!" he snapped.

"What? Excuse me, _Braddock_? What's wrong with you?" Spike shot back.

"What's wrong with me? You're kidding, right? What's wrong with _you_?" he asked angrily, poking his finger into Spike's chest.

"Ouch, that hurts! Could you be nicer, I have three busted ribs," Spike whimpered painfully.

"To begin with, that's one of the problems. Why did you have to end up with broken ribs? Oh, yeah, you felt like playing the hero, and run after this guy who made you fall from a two-story window. And why did you let him take your gun _and_ shot you? What if the bullet had gone through you jacket? You were taking the chance to be killed in the line of duty?"

"No! Are you insane? What's the matter anyway? Since when are you interested in my well-being?" Spike yelled.

"That's not the point. Don't change the subject of the conversation."

"And what conversation are you talking about? 'Cause here I just see a nutty yelling on me!" Spike tried to leave the room, only to be pushed back by Sam.

* * *

"Don't you dare leave. I'm not done," Sam growled. "Why did you stupidly have to go out of the truck when the Sarge said it wasn't necessary? You could have just stayed inside, played with your computer and your electronic toys."

"What? Who do you think you are, you little self-centered jerk? You've been here for less than one year, and you're telling me what I have to do? I must be dreaming. Years that I've worked here and a little shit is telling me to stay in the truck, playing with my _toys_?" Spike asked in disbelief. "I can't believe it! We are not in school, we are both grown-ups. I don't need a trigger-happy newbie to tell me what I have to do. You're not my boss. If someone has to say something about what I did today, it should be the Sarge, not you. It's not because you're a super-sniper who always looks forward to being patted on the head by Ed that means you're God! Without my _toys_ and I, I would be very happy to see how you would stay alive more than ten minutes," he dismissed Sam with an angry wave of his hand.

************************

Sam refused to let it go. "I'm not done! You could have died today. You had the flu, and you weren't in shape to go in the field. You can't say I'm wrong. And you could have been killed. And… And…"

"Look, jackass. Right now I'm tired, I'm sick, I have busted ribs and scratches everywhere due to the window I went through. Now let me go before I do something I would regret. I don't even know why I bother letting you say that. You have never cared. Why do you do that? Jules isn't here so you can't follow her like a puppy?"

Before he realized what happened, Spike felt Sam fist connecting with his jaw. Spike retaliated by throwing a punch. They ended up rolling on the floor, fighting like teenagers. After such a crappy day, Spike saw himself overpowered by Sam who pinned him down on the ground of the locker room. Sam was stunned when he bended over and decided to crash his lips against Spike's. Spike was shocked but equally stunned when he felt himself kissing back his coworker. The kiss was passionate, angry and with something Sam couldn't define. Maybe more than lust.

* * *

Spike didn't know how they managed that, but soon, they ended up at Sam place. He was surprised when he stepped in. He didn't know why but he had always thought that Sam was a messy kid, so he was agreeably surprised when he found a neat apartment. It was comfy and welcoming. He thought that Sam had made it his, that after all the years in the Army, he had created his own shelter.

It was strange. He'd always thought that Sam was an immature kid with a big ego. Like his first times in the team, always wanting to be Sierra 1 or Sierra 2, not wanting to deal with people and try to talk to them. Spike had always liked talking to people. He'd always wanted to defuse a situation without having to use his weapon. But again, he remembered that they were very different. He was the talkative one, Sam was more subdued.

He'd always thought that Sam would have had pictures of his Army unit or his family. He was rather surprised to see a photo of their team, taken at a barbeque at Wordy's.

"I keep the photos of my unit in my locker."

************************

"Why?" Spike asked genuinely.

"I don't want ghosts to follow me at home, particularly after a bad case. I keep them in my locker; they help me to stay alive in the field. They remind me that life is short and that it can end in no time. A lunatic and a mission can go south rapidly. So I keep the present in my living-room and the past at work. I don't know if that makes sense to you…"

Spike nodded. "Yeah, I understand. I try to avoid TV news when I go home after a situation, particularly when it was bad. If a life has been ended because we couldn't talk him down, I don't want to live it again, and again. But I really didn't think you would have a photo of our team."

"What? You don't have a picture of Babycakes on your night stand?" Sam faked a hurt look. "I will tell her tomorrow."

Spike was red flushed.

"You do! I knew it!" Sam added in triumph.

"Don't mock my Babycakes. She saved your ass more than once. Okay. I've got a picture. Greg took it when Lou and I were repairing her after an explosion."

************************

Sam was amused by the threatening look Spike was trying to keep on his face without laughing. When he failed, both burst out laughing. Suddenly Sam's face became serious. He came closer to Spike and put a hesitant, soft kiss on his lips. He didn't want to scare his friend. He was also afraid that Spike had changed his mind since their encounter in the locker room. Sam had always been bi, but he didn't know about Spike, who was talking about babes most of the time.

He had developed some pretty fantasies including Spike, showers, TAC gears, and other stuff that he would probably never talk about to his friend. Nevertheless, he was reassured when Spike deepened the kiss. He slid one hand under his t-shirt, caressing Spike's warm body. Spike shivered at the contact but let Sam take off the offending cloth. Nervously, he began to unbuttoned Sam's shirt, all fingers trembling. He had never thought about Sam or any other guy that way, and was terrified by his discovery: he was aroused by men. When realization sank in, he grew out some confidence. Finally he removed Sam's shirt and took a good look of his blond coworker.

************************

Part of him was still afraid by what he was doing. He wasn't walking in a familiar territory here. Everything was new. As an Italian guy, with a very Christian family, he had always been told that men were… Well, men. And men were created to be with women. Men were created to make babies to women to make their very Italian mothers happy, not that non-Italian mothers weren't happy to have grand-children. But he had always been conditioned about what men should do and not do. And desiring one of his male friends wasn't part of his education. It was a sin.

He was afraid that his family would disown him, that they would reject him. He'd always been close to them. With his tough job, closeness and family were his safety. If something was wrong, he knew that there would always be someone to cheer him up and to make him forget about reality. His mom's tiramisu. His nephews and nieces' antics. They'd always been his source of comfort, even if that meant living in a basement, going out to watch the Lion King, and being teased restlessly by his colleagues. He really didn't want to lose everything.


	2. Propositions

Title: Inner Fight (2/3)

Chapter: Propositions

Word Count: 6x200 words

Pairing: Sam/Spike

**Rating: R (maybe M for this chapter, not very explicit content)  
**

**Warnings: SLASH**

Spoilers: a hint of 2x07, but just a hint.

Summary: When Spike is hurt during an intervention, Someone unexpected has a reaction… well, unexpected.

Written for: flashpoint_sru on LJ

Disclaimer: I don't own Flashpoint. Just my fantasies…

Beta: The lovely paranoid_woman

Author Notes: Sorry if it's full of sappiness, I need sappiness right now!

*

Propositions

*

He didn't know if it was Sam's chubby face, his piercing blue eyes, or something else. Maybe it was streetlights that were making the scene surreal, but he decided that consequences could be faced afterward. He just hoped that Sam wouldn't dump him tomorrow morning after a quickie. Sam was watching him intently and Spike decided to take the lead on that kiss. He pressed his lips against Sam's, sliding his tongue into his mouth, asking for entrance, their tongues fighting for dominance.

Breathless, they pulled apart and Spike sucked Sam earlobe, placing gentle kisses all along his jaw, made his way to his shoulder, licking a path to the crook of his neck. Making a pause, he took the time to inhale Sam's smell; it was like musk and vanilla. It gave him the need to taste every part of Sam's body.

Sam recognized need and lust in Spike eyes. He got up and Spike wondered if he had done something wrong. He knew it was the opposite when Sam spoke.

"Do you want to continue what we are doing in the bedroom? It's not an obligation to…"

Spike considered the proposition and nodded. It was now or never.

*****************

Spike got up and Sam hooked his fingers in his friend's belt. He began to unbuckle it on the way to his room, leading the way blindly as he was focused on Spike. They progressively lost clothes, staying in their boxers. He turned to lay Spike down but stumbled over the bed, ending up sprawled on his bedmate.

"Ouch!" Spike winced in pain.

"Oh shit! Your ribs. I'm so sorry," he apologized before licking his way to Spike's nipples.

"Guh, keep doing this and you will be totally forgiven!" Spike purred.

"I will be careful, but if you are in pain or uncomfortable, just tell me, okay?"

"Copy that, boss!" Spike smiled.

"We have all the time anyway. No need to rush." With that Sam returned to his duty.

The next 20 minutes, Spike found out that Sam could be really skillful with his tongue. Twice.

* * *

"Where did you learn to do that?" he asked in a haze.

"Uh…" Sam was flushed.

"Okay, forget I asked."

"Anyway, I don't kiss and tell."

"Awww, you're a gentleman. That's so sweet. So I shouldn't worry for my reputation?" Spike teased Sam.

"Not for your reputation buddy," he added with a feral look.

***************

"Okay… I think we didn't take care of you… You're still in your boxers." Spike slid his fingers along Sam's waistband and let the boxers fell on the ground. Spike took a look at Sam who was in all his glory. "Humm, pretty impressive," he said, not at ease. He was coming around the idea that he was gay, bi, whatever. But suddenly, in this room, with a naked man in front of him, it was easier said than done. He was seriously beginning to freak out.

"Relax, Spike. We won't do anything you don't want to. I'm not particularly into forcing people having sex with me. It has to be granted."

"There's no way out now," Spike whispered.

"Well, technically I have a door, so there'll always be a way out." Sam raised his eyebrows.

Spike laughed at the awkward situation, and the bad attempt of Sam at making a joke.

"So… Do you trust me?" Sam waited for something that looked like forever. When Spike nodded, Sam added, "I want to hear you."

"Yes, I trust you."

"I also want you to voice what you want, what you like, what you don't, if you feel not at ease."

*****************

"You got everything?"

"Like in 'sex safe'?"

"Yes."

"Always, Spike."

Sam left for a moment, time to find condoms, lube and some towels. 'The more you are prepared, the less you don't need to get up' was the romantic advice Sam's first lover told him once.

After that, Sam made love to Spike tenderly. He wanted his first time with a man to be, if not perfect, at least caring, but he also wanted to not injure Spike more than he already was. He had nasty bruises on his ribcage, and Sam didn't want them to end in the E.R. in the middle of the night.

* * *

Now, both were lying on Sam's bed in a post-coital bliss. Sam asked, curious. "So, do you have any regrets now?"

"Nah, it's too late for the regrets. I don't like regrets. Regrets make you bitter and desperate."

"But you liked it?"

"Are you going to ask me to note you?" Spike asked in disbelief.

"No! But since it was your first experience I wanted to know if you liked, or if you are definitely disgusted by men."

"Well, you didn't see me running like a crying virgin, so it's a pretty good indication."

"So I succeed?" Sam grinned.

"Don't be too proud of you, Mr. I – corrupt – straight – men, you leaded me into sin. Now you have to make it up to me."

"I thought I'd made it up to you three times already." Sam began to kiss every teeny tiny scar left by the sharp pieces of the window Spike went through. On his hand, on his neck, then on his face. He dropped little, butterfly kisses all over Spike's body.

*******************

"It's your entire fault. Now assume that you freed the beast in me!"

Sam burst out laughing. "You know that you are crazy, right?" Spike nodded eagerly. "Riiiiight. Definitely nuts. I can't believe they let you defuse bombs. Who's the shrink that gave you a clearance to do that? Tomorrow, I put a request for him being fired. No more bombs, no more Babycakes."

Spike looked at him in mock-horror. "What? You would do that to me?" He feigned a hurt look. "You would do that to _me_? I'm wounded there, buddy."

"Yeah that's the principle when you go through a window, fall from the first floor, and be shot at. Wounds."

"Way to kill the mood there, buddy," Spike teased.

"Well, I have been very scared today. Don't you dare do that again."

"What? My job?"

"Being killed is not your job. You have to stay safe, okay. I don't want anything to happen to this team; you are my strength. And after what happened to Jules… Now promise."

"I can't promise that. You never know what can happen outside."

*****************

"Okay. I'm pretty tired now."

"All right. I'll let you sleep. I suppose I'll see you at work tomorrow. Good night," Spike said with sadness, taking the hint. He got up to leave, before being thrown out of balance, landing on the bed. "Wha…"

"I didn't mean it that way. I'm tired and I just wanna sleep. I didn't kick you out. Now come here and sleep. And after all the stuff that happened to you today, you should be tired too."

"I'm not ti…" but he stifled a yawn before being able to finish his sentence. "Okay. I agree. Maybe I am tired."

"Good, now that we've reached the same conclusion, could we sleep, please?"

Spike agreed and came lying next to Sam after stuffing a pillow. Sam covered them with the comforter and they quickly drifted into sleep.


	3. The Morning After

Title: Internal Fight (3/3)

Chapter: The Morning After

Word Count: 4x200 words

Pairing: Sam/Spike

Rating: M

Warnings: SLASH

Spoilers: a hint of 2x07, but just a hint.

Summary: When Spike is hurt during an intervention, Someone unexpected has a reaction… well, unexpected.

Written for: flashpoint_sru on LJ

Disclaimer: I don't own Flashpoint. Just my fantasies…

Beta: The lovely paranoid_woman

*

The Morning After

*

At five o'clock, Spike woke up in a room that wasn't his basement, and in a bed that wasn't his bed obviously… He remembered suddenly what happened last night. He remembered the locker room, Sam in the room, Sam kissing him. He was trying to remember the sex but everything was blurry, and decided that _yes_ they'd had sex when he shifted. He didn't remember having ever been sore in that place. He noticed that he wasn't uncomfortable, being in Sam's bed with Sam near him. But then he thought that he'd never let his family know he wouldn't go home yesterday. They'd be probably worried.

He decided he could easily sneak out of the bed, as Sam was sleeping at the opposite side. Spike has always been the cuddly type in bed. He also still didn't understand why Sam had picked him instead of someone more… well, someone looking more like Sam, not Spike. He didn't understand why he was feeling some sorrow, instead of happiness. He liked Sam, and he liked what happened the night prior. Maybe it was because he was with a man. But maybe it was because he was feeling Sam's distance in the bed.

*****************

He got up quietly and tried to find his boxers. He didn't want to wake up Sam. He was about to give up and leave the room, when he heard Sam voice, half-angry, half-sleepy.

"If you're looking for your boxers in order to sneak out of the room, they are near my bedside drawer."

"I thought you were asleep. I didn't want to wake you up."

"Well, Army does that. Light sleeper now. You always stay on your guard," Sam snapped bitterly. "I didn't take you for the one-night-stand type. If you wanted that, you just had to tell me, I would have let you go after sex. I thought you wanted more than that. Apparently it was a mistake."

Spike didn't know what to answer. "I… I'm sorry. I didn't think it was what you wanted. I'm used to being dumped in the morning because they don't like the fact I'm too talkative, or because they find it weird that I live in my parents' basement. But I don't think it's a mistake. It's just that you were far from me in the bed."

"You have to drop your insecurities, Spike. I don't do one-night-stands. Do you understand that?"

*****************

Spike nodded but added. "It's just that I don't see… Why me? You're handsome and… I'm just playing with toys, remember?"

Sam smirked. "You think I'm handsome?" He got up, dragging Spike with him in front of a looking-glass. "Look at you. You're cute."

"How manly! I feel like a puppy now."

"Okay, too sappy. You're hot, _and_ in a totally manly way. Better?"

"Yes!"

"You are smart. Even with your geeky side I like so much. I'm sorry for the things I said about your skills and the 'toys' part. I was pissed and that was low. I didn't want to hurt you. You were right. If you weren't there, we would have been in danger more often, because you're our eyes most of the time. And because you often come with a MacGyver idea to help us."

Spike was blushing furiously.

*****************

"So, now, do you see what I see in you? Is your ego satisfied or does it need more cheering? Because right now, I need to go back to sleep. It's way too early to be up. You're on sick leave and it's my day off. So why don't we, at least, finish this conversation in bed?"

Both laid down on Sam's bed. Sam came closer to Spike.

"You want to do something tomorrow? Cinema, DVD, or something…" he said with a naughty grin.

"Or something…" Spike answered with a mischievous smile. "But if someone from work see us?"

"Don't you think that if I wanted a quick fuck, I'd have chosen someone else than one of my coworkers? I know the risk. I already did it once, it ended badly."

"Jules?"

*****************

Sam nodded. "I want to stay in team one. And so do you, I suppose. That means keeping secrets, and being more discreet. Ed and Greg are very good at reading people. They'd get the hint in no time. So, no PDA near them. At work or outside, where we could be seen together. Are you sure you're ready to do that?"

"I… think so…"

"You think so, or you know so? I don't want to jeopardize everything if you aren't sure."

"I know so." Spike added, "You think the Sarge'll give Ed a Scorpio order if he found out about us?"

Sam chuckled and answered Spike's question with a passionate kiss, hand sliding south, and completely forgetting that he'd been tired few minutes ago.


End file.
